So This is Blog
I’d been ‘working on’ launching a website for years by the time I finally pressed the red button on The Electric Kool-Aid Real Estate Test in June of 2012. I’d been hearing all about blogging but I didn’t really know what it meant. I still don’t. But I thought it needed an introduction…
Hello, Cruel World
So this is blog. Please don’t feel awkward. It’s not you—it’s me.
For the first ten years of my real estate career, I’ve managed to avoid creating a website for myself. A website! Grammar school children these days assemble complex websites for their pets’ imaginary friends in between homework & dinner, and I have somehow failed for an entire decade to create or commission even the crudest of functioning models to support my high-level real estate practice. Incredible! Probably the most basic tool in the belt after a license and a business card, and for ten years the screen on the far end of my registered domain Braimes.com has featured an unflattering headshot taken during my first week in the business, accompanied by the message “Future home of Braimes.com.” For ten years this has been my internet “presence.” It’s an outrage…
The good news is, ultimately I have prevailed! I’ve ignored the trend-- stoically not looking to the side—and at last the storm has passed. No one cares about websites anymore; they just want to look at something called blog.
But what is blog?
Everybody’s doing it—the videogame industry is blogging; the medical marijuana people are into it; of course the fucking sports addicts have the blog now. I guess I’d better get busy on one, lest I miss the wave and have to spend another ten years deciding what trend to be on the back end of next.
So welcome to my mid-day rambling Jeff Braimes real estate blog. For real people! I guess I don’t really know what I’m fixing to ‘blog’ about, but there are a few things I’m pretty sure I won’t be blogging about, including adjusted price-per-square foot, cumulative days on market, peekaboo views and at this price, it won’t last long.
Additionally, my stupid-head real estate blog will not involve the following principles, which happen to rhyme with blog:
My blog does not smog. Since my blog will make it possible for me never to actually speak face-to-face with another person ever again, I won’t have to use my car— thus cutting down on greenhouse gasses
My blog is not a frog. It is green, and it often makes croaking sounds (like my business). But it’s not a frog
Neither is my blog a dog. My blog will never bark or bite, though it might occasionally brandish its obscene drooling tongue & garbage-breath or maybe even hump your leg
My blog is not a clog. All of my blog’s shoes will have heels
My blog does not jog. They do not make monsters big or scary enough to make my blog run more than about a half-block
My blog is not in the Troggs. It will occasionally be Wild, but honestly... click here
Seriously, I don’t know what to expect from this experiment any more than you do. I suspect in the coming weeks, I’ll post musings about how to move a 3,000sqft century-old house to a vacant lot down the street; what to do if you discover a baggie of antique Nazi currency in the basement of the home you just bought; how to get the listing on the refrigerator your neighbor is trying to FSBO (agents only, sorry layfolk); surprising a couple in-bed when you’re trying to show a listing (agents only, layers welcome); and whether Ben Kinney’s eye makeup makes his butt look big.
Until then, Real People, stay cool.
--tMR